Friday, April 21, 2006

Scenes from the ER

"So, how much alcohol do you drink? A case a night?"

"Nooooo, not a case. Not anything like that."

"How much, then?"

"Oh, only about 10 beers a night."

"Uh. Hm. And how's that working out for you?"


"So what brings you to the emergency room this morning?"

"Well, I woke up with this weird rash. And I knew my doctor's office would be busy and I wouldn't be able to see anyone until like 2 pm, and I just didn't feel like waiting."

"So. . . you came to the EMERGENCY room?"



"I smoke about 2 packs per day of cigarettes, been doin' it for about 20 years."

"Have you thought about quitting?"

"Yeah, I used the nicotine patch for about a week. Worked good, I didn't want to smoke at all. But I stopped it."

"Why was that?"

"Oh, it made my chest feel funny. Kind of tight."

"Hmm. And how's your breathing been lately?"

"Not too good. My doctor says something about. . . emphysema? Something like that."

"I guess having shortness of breath and having to wear oxygen for the rest of your life would make your chest feel kind of funny, too, huh?"

(that smacking sound you hear is my hand impacting on my head. Over. . . and over . . . and over . . . )

1 comment:

The Purloined Letter said...

I have to pass this on to my DH, a knitting family doctor. He comes home with stories like this so often! Thanks!